One could say that signs come in threes. But even with one or two signs, it could mean something important. Once you notice things that stand out to you, and they might refer to the same thing, you should pay attention to it. And if in doubt, ask for more signs – to the Universe. Maybe it means you should approach someone, or perhaps someone from the Other Side wants to send her love. Or maybe both. I guess the latter happened when I saw some signs that had to do with a deceased person I knew. And I happened to know her daughter, who is like family to me.

Funeral

When her mom passed away, she was only 11 months old. The niece of my brother-in-law’s (and consequently my sister’s) grew up with her father, and partly with her grandmother. Since she often slept at her grandma’s, and I sometimes slept over at my brother-in-law’s and my sister’s (who happened to live below her grandma, at that time) I saw her regularly at her grandma’s place. I had seen her mom at least once, maybe twice, when she was still alive. But I was a kid myself then; 10 years old, almost 11. So I hardly knew her mom, but I remember her funeral, ’cause I was there, when she was buried. And that was the last time I had been to her grave. Until I received these signs I couldn’t miss.

Signs

So present time. Some day I had to think of her mom – out of the blue. And I wondered: why would I think of her? Someone I hardly knew. And then the first sign appeared. A friend of mine (I was visiting The Netherlands) wanted to have dinner with me. So I told him to meet at this restaurant where we had dinner before. But like last minute he suggested a different place: a new restaurant, from some owner he knew, and I kinda knew him as well.

I got there first. And to my own surprise the restaurant was located across this snack bar that I knew so well by hearsay: the aunt of my sister’s niece had lived above it, and it was the place where her mom actually passed away. Her mom was visiting her sister-in-law, together with her dad, and she had some kind of respiratory attack she didn’t survive. With my gaze on this building, I was just blown away. Some kind of sign this is, I figured.

More Signs

Suddenly I was alert, needless to say. And when I got back to Madrid I met this girl at the Starbucks. Now I hardly talk to people at the Starbucks, but somehow we started to talk to each other. And when we introduced each other, another sign struck me: she had the same name as the mom of my sister’s niece. It could have been a coincidence, but it was not a typical Spanish name – it wasn’t even Spanish – and like I said: I hardly introduce myself to someone at the Starbucks. Yeah, to the barista.

Doubting about whether I should contact the niece, I asked the Universe for another sign. “If you give me another good sign, any time soon, I will contact her”, so I asked ‘out loud’. The next day I watched this movie with Johnny Depp, and surprise, surprise: her mom’s favorite song was part of the soundtrack – I didn’t know much about her mom, but my own mom had told me about the song. Touched on my shoulder, by the hand of the Universe, I decided to contact her. So I did.

Surprised

My sister’s niece was delighted to meet – also because she kinda knew that it wasn’t just for a coffee: she had felt something special during the day that I contacted her. So we met. I told her that for some reason I had felt that we should meet. And of course we talked about her mom. It was nice to see her again, after so many years. My sister always said how lovely and kind she was, and I totally could imagine that. I was a bit surprised though that she wasn’t feeling anything super special for her mom. But when she explained it, it totally made sense to me: she didn’t have any active memories of her mom, and her grandmother felt more like a mom to her when she was a little kid. She did say that she sometimes had asked for any signs of contact from her mom, but she never got any.

Asking her mom

After a second time meeting up, I thought: well ok, maybe this was just it. And I just left it, hoping that my sister’s niece was feeling happy about it – somehow – and I had done something for her mom, whatever that may have been. So the story would end here.
But the Universe had something else in mind. Like a year later, I had to think of her mom again. Was I daydreaming this time?, so I thought. My imagination got out of control? And even though we actually had been texting about possibly visiting some Summer festival in Amsterdam that month, I hadn’t heard anything more from my sister’s niece for like a week. So I was like: well, I know she is busy. And at the same time – ’cause of my sudden thoughts about her mom – I asked her mom, in my mind: “If you want me to visit your grave, I will do that for you. Just give me a sign.” And literally some hours later her daughter sent me a text. Clearly I took it as a yes.

[Part II]

Sunflowers

I had already been toying with the idea of visiting her mom’s grave before, including her grandparents’ grave, which lies like 30 metres away from her mom’s. And once Summer was almost at her end, I decided to go to their graves. I brought sunflowers, some of my favorite flowers, and without any map (nor people working on Sunday), I bumped into her grandparents’ grave. I didn’t know her grandfather, but I was told he was a strong, loving man, who had a very open mind. I sent them both love and light, and I felt a bit emotional about visiting her grandma’s grave – I had known her well enough. It was also nice in a way to visit her grandfather (it was a family grave), even though I had never met him. Her mother’s grave was harder to find. But my brother-in-law helped me out by Whatsapp. So finally I was there, at the grave.

Protecting

I put the flowers in the vase, and I told her mom: well, here I am. Don’t know what you exactly want, but it is my pleasure to be here. At last. I sent her also some love and light, and as a prayer I said: may all the people that were here when you were buried, let their sadness about you go. Then I left. It would make the story way too long to tell everything what I had felt and thought once I got home, but to give you an idea: it was as if the sadness, the grieve of her dad’s was standing any contact with her late mom in the way. Like he was protecting her from any grieve; his grieve or any future one of hers. He didn’t want to bother her with that, but at the same time – or maybe because of it – there hadn’t been any room for his own grieve; or at least less. And with ‘the protection’, there was no connection. I guess her father had the best intentions, but it maybe created some closed shell as well, by keeping her under his wings.

Special Birthday

Something interesting happened like five months later. I wanted to celebrate my special birthday (something with round numbers), but my brother-in-law couldn’t make it due to a trip. Because of that I told him that we should celebrate it some other day, just the two of us. Some weeks passed by, and randomly I asked him if he could make it the next week or the following one. As a reply he answered: “Let’s make it next week, on Friday.” So we went to this nice, Italian restaurant that I knew from ages ago. Once we were there he mentioned that it was actually his dad’s birthday and his sister-in-law’s – the mom of my sister’s niece. They happened to have the same birthday, something I wasn’t aware of.

Another Sister-in-Law

It touched me when he told me that. After visiting his dad’s grave and his sister-in-law’s (technically for the first time, after her funeral), I was suddenly there with my brother-in-law celebrating my special birthday, and in a way the birthday of his dad’s and sister-in-law’s. Something unexpected, but lovely. And it got weirder: while we were having dinner, I already kinda recognized his other (back-then) sister-in-law, at an actual table some metres away from us. It turned out to be her actually, his other sister-in-law, who used to be part of his family back then, when they were in their twenties. Like we were all there, including his late dad and late sister-in-law, in the spirit, – and who knows his late mom too – as one family. Celebrating.

And the niece of my sister? The same Summer that I had visited her mom’s grave, she had actually moved. Moved out from the building that is owned by her father (and where he is working daily), to some rural house, to enjoy so much more space with her own family. Guess it must be another sign as well…

*Funny Extra Note: When I was writing this blog, and I was wondering about the presence of her grandma on my birthday, I was in Spain for holidays. Once finished – my blog – I changed my accommodation and I moved to the following hotel (which I had booked like a week in advance): Olala Homes Mini Hotel. Only when I was looking at the internet’s password (“Enjoy Olala”), did I realize that the name was another coincidence: my nephews (the children of my brother-in-law’s) used to call their grandma ‘grandma Olala’, because she would blurt that out frequently: “O la la!”. Might take that as a yes too.