Some months ago I discovered ‘The Frame Technique’. A perfect exercise for empaths and sensitive people. Basically you identify with the energy of a flame, in order to distinguish yourself from the flame eventually. Life changing, according to many sensitive people. And in my case even a cat was able to feel the identification of its energy by me.

Secret Life

When you are highly sensitive you can pick up other people’s energy. You might feel their discomfort, you get to know about their inner needs, and sometimes you get a glimpse of their ‘secret life’ – their shadows (which we all have, by the way). And it’s great to show your empathy to them, or to connect with their energy, in order to give it some space when those people need it. But it shouldn’t be to your own detriment.

Connections

We all create connections with the people that surround us. And if you are sensitive you might hold on to other people’s energy – partly because you are simply empathic (and you know it), or maybe you just don’t have any idea why you do it; it just happens. It’s your nature to do so. But it can affect your own system – your energy, your body and your own life – in a bad way, if you are not aware of it consciously. So ‘even I’, with all the life experiences and growth as an empath by now, was happy to find out about this technique.

The Frame Technique

Simply put, this technique will make you experience the boundaries between you and things around you. Things – or people – which can become energetically part of your own energy
clearly because you can connect easily with them, at a deeper level.

So what does it exactly entail? Well, you take a burning candle, focus on it, and you feel how you are one with this candle. With the candle wax, the warmth, the whole flame. And once you are fully aware of it energetically, you take your energy back, and you picture it going into your own field, into your own body. And you feel very consciously how you are not the flame. Despite many spiritual learnings there is suddenly no oneness – you are separated from the candle, from the flame. And that’s all.

Pulsating Energy

Since I like connection and relaxation I sometimes get massages. Holistic massages, deep tissue massages, you name it. Normally you are the center of this type of bodywork, and on the receiving part, but it was kinda funny and interesting that one massage therapist in particular (some other people had mentioned it before as well) said that “I had healing hands”, ’cause she could feel some kind of pulsating energy coming out of my hands. I would say, it must be some kind of natural Reiki, where you could channel the universal energy and send it out.

Loulou

And this brings me to the last part of my story. Two weeks ago I went to my regular hairdresser, and to my own surprise she had this cat lying on the windowsill, that was covered with some carpet. Since my hairdresser was still busy with another customer, I decided to sit next to it. The cat was just relaxing – maybe it had slept a bit as well – and after it had moved its head up, I decided to put my hand invitingly close to its head.

The cat (called ‘Loulou’, I found out later on) looked at it, and with some curiosity Loulou moved to my hand, stepped on my lap, and let me pet its fur. It was totally at ease, and I enjoyed petting it. I figured it was glad to receive some loving attention. But when I continued petting his back with the very clear intention of giving him some extra energy, it became a bit too enthusiastic: its teeth bit my other arm for a second, and its nails scratched the skin of my arm, with the required sound of some purr. And then it started to relax again – but a bit of harm was already done to my skin: a little scratch – a bit burning – was clearly seen and felt by me.

I guess Loulou thought: if you wanted to connect with my energy and ‘become even my inner flame’ for a second, I would have to leave a mark on your skin behind. So I took it for granted, because it was a memorable moment. And some food for thought, for this newly written blog, about boundaries, energy, and burning flames.