When empaths are feeling close to someone, they might get too much involved with that person – energetically. They can feel their pain, and it’s likely that they want to heal that part of them, or more deteriorating: they are gonna carry this pain for them; often subconsciously. We all can develop this energetic pattern, this painful cord. Then again, since empaths can sense someone’s energy at a deeper level, they might carry a deeper layer of someone’s pain. Even physically. So not until a friend of mine was about to get married, did I realize I had been doing such thing for her as well.

Kiss on the Lips

I started to care about her when we got in the same class, at middle school. I wrote in her friendship notebook, and I would make sure I would buy something special for her, when it was her birthday. When we slow danced, she would put her body against mine, and I still remember how her cheek touched the skin of my face. So yes, I guess it didn’t start off as a normal friendship. In fact, when we got older – studying, working – we always kissed each other on the lips, when we saw each other. I also remember that time that she was slowly looking for my hand – to hold for a while – at the club, because “the boys out there were being too disturbing”. And once she got annoyed when I told her how funny it was to meet one of her study mates, since I had dated that girl. “Well, we have been dating”, she said to my surprise, in a way that could have been read like: who cares that you had a date or two with that girl? We never had something, but it was clear that we felt some kind of love for each other.

Special Bond

She had her boyfriends, I had my girlfriends. And when I met my very special (back-then) girlfriend, she was happy for me. My girlfriend noticed that we had this special bond, but she wasn’t worried about it. Even when people around her were asking questions. “So what about this friend of his?” And her brother actually assumed that we had had a relationship in the past. But my girlfriend accepted her. She knew we had been friends for a life time, and she even got along with her. She did mention at some point: “If you and I ever broke up, you should be with her.” So obvious was the love between us.

Wedding

For some reason our friendship faded out, and the last thing I knew was that she had met someone new. Someone she was really serious about, so she told me. Thus I was happy for her. And we got further out of touch, until one of her best friends – being the wedding planner – invited me to her wedding. ‘She would be thrilled to have you at her wedding!’, the wedding planner let me know. So I was getting prepared for the wedding, and weirdly enough: I had broken up with my ex-girlfriend one month before (well, it was by our both consent, but I had initiated it). It was a huge change for me, after being together for almost ten years. But – speaking of the wedding – it was my friend’s ceremony (not one of my ex-girlfriend’s friends) for which I had accepted the invitation. So there was no reason not to go.

Cutting Cords

Back then it all felt like coincidences. Now I realize that something inside of me had already been shifting: I started to get loose from some people, cutting some cords. But at the time I had no idea. So I just felt overwhelmed, when this thing happened the day before the wedding. I went out – didn’t have the best time of my life – and when I got into the cab to get home, I felt this horrible pain in my chest. Like there was a lot of pressure, but more like bursting out, and I couldn’t breathe properly. The pain was hard to manage, but I made it home. I went to bed, and I started to get sick. Some part of mine really wanted to go to my friend’s wedding, but some other part was helped by my body and had other plans. So finally I didn’t go, I let the wedding planner know that I couldn’t make it.

Breaking Up

To be honest, at some point in the past I thought it had something to do with the fact that she got married to someone else. That I had to admit my love for her, and I was feeling the (physical) pain of breaking up with her. Breaking up the love that we felt for each other – and maybe till some extent it was the case. But after a while – I got more aware of being an empath – I figured: maybe I was mostly carrying some pain of hers. I actually knew she had been suffering from some physical diseases in the past (skin problems, respiratory conditions). And with the upcoming wedding I apparently gave myself permission to let it go. Someone else, her husband to be, was there for her. He would take care of her.

Love Connection

We haven’t seen each other for ages now – I went to Spain, she moved to Africa, to Asia. But we did get in touch again; by emails, by PM’s. And now and then she still shares her feelings with me: that I am in her heart – something she often told me in the past. Well, I know it’s likewise, without a doubt. Rests the case that it’s healthier – for the both of us – if we can separate our love connection from something deteriorating as a cord, through which we are holding each other’s pain. Don’t you think?