Some people say that when you think of someone, energy will flow to that person. So it would make sense that they might start thinking of you. Or they would feel the positivity or love that you feel for them. And in my case, lately I experience this weird effect of bringing these things ‘alive’. Suddenly those thoughts get some sort of physical shape, or even stronger: people appear in my life, as out of nowhere.

Funny Phenomenon

I remember that as a teenager I often experienced this funny phenomenon. I would walk in the city of Amsterdam, and I would see someone who looked like someone I knew. Then, moments later, or maybe an hour, I would see the person I actually knew. And it would happen regularly. And by regularly I mean when I saw the lookalike of a particular person first, like an introduction of what was coming.

Girls From The Past

Something similar. Two years ago I volunteered at a Summer festival in Amsterdam, working a couple of days behind one of their bars. And a week or so before those days, I was scrolling through the Facebook pages of two girls I knew from the past. One was a fling from 6 years ago, and the other girl, someone I knew through work; from way longer ago.

Thing was I scrolled intentionally through their timelines, because I hadn’t seen the partner of the latter girl for a while in her current pictures – so I was wondering if they were still together. And I was just curious about my fling; maybe the fact that I would be in Amsterdam again (where she lived, while I was living in The Hague) had triggered the idea of seeing how she was doing. And I guess you can see the surprise coming.

Mixed Roots

Before my work shift at the festival started, I was walking around for 10 minutes, since I was a bit early. I was just enjoying the atmosphere, the vibe of this itinerant music and theatre festival, when I suddenly saw her: the girl I knew through work, from 14 years ago. She was with her kid, a beautiful son with mixed roots, whom I recognized from the photos she had shared on Facebook. So we talked for a bit, in front of the carrousel where they were queueing, and then I moved on, in order to be on time for my shift.

The encounter with my fling was much shorter. A fellow volunteer at our bar had taken her order, and a bit tucked away under my cap I recognised her when she looked into my direction for a couple of seconds. It was just a glimpse – and I wasn’t in the mood to approach her for something that had happened many years ago – but enough to feel the astonishment of our encounter, since I had been through her Facebook timeline a week before. Weird, so I thought.

Club Buddies

Different story. One that happened some weeks ago. Long time ago, when I was in college, I worked at this American shoe store in one of the most well known shopping streets in Amsterdam. And sometimes I was asked to work at different places, like in one of their stores in a famous warehouse not too far from the actual American store. And there I became friends with one of my co-workers. Normally I wouldn’t be spreading around names in my blogs, but for the sake of my story I will make an exception and will mention her name over here: Krista. Basically we became ‘club buddies’, and nothing but good buddies, great friends.

Attracted

When we became friends, I had a girlfriend, and after breaking up with the latter, I got into a relationship with another girl. It didn’t affect our friendship at all, ’cause we were just friends. I did think she was cool and stylish, and hanging out with her was really great. But I never felt attracted to her in some way.

So some weeks ago I had to think of her, and for some strange reason I casually wondered if it was truly the case: that we were just friends, and any attraction between each other was nowhere to be find – something that was never in dispute during our long lasted friendship. Anyways, while I was picturing the whole idea and, perhaps more importantly, basically tuning in into our connection, I had to admit that I could find a bit of attraction between us, buried under these layers of friendship.

So what was the coincidence, the relevance of this all? Well, two days later, I received a job offer from one of my relatively new clients, a language institute. Their department of planning works with different planners, and even though the rest of this crew would always address me by ‘Chris’, this one started the e-mail with: ‘Dear Kris’. It wasn’t the biggest deal, but of course I was slightly surprised, especially because of the whole previous event. And to be honest, I can’t even remember whether anyone had written my name in this way by confusion.

[part 2]

Fashion Friend

Last anecdote, a long one actually. Before my life in Spain, while being in a long term relationship, I had a busy social life in The Netherlands – my home country. I would meet my friends, and sometimes I became friends with their friends. Like this couple, some friends of one of my best friends back then. Especially the guy was the one with whom I became friendly; we would meet, go to clubs, and also without his girlfriend or our mutual friend.

He was a cool guy, working in the field of fashion. And as far as I can tell now – we are not in touch anymore – quite successful over there. As mentioned, we loved clubbing, and one night we went to this fancy hotel, which included a club where the finest parties were held. I went with my then girlfriend and a friend of hers, and we would meet him there, so I recall. His girlfriend didn’t come with him, by the way, since she was living abroad for a while; for an internship.

Flirting

So we were having fun, dancing the night away, but it was clear that he felt attracted to the friend of my girlfriend. I thought it was harmless, him being a flirt and probably tipsy. My girlfriend’s friend was enjoying the party as well, but she wasn’t amused when he seemed serious about his intentions. She made him clear that he needed to stop, because he had a girlfriend. But this simple fact that he was in a relationship, didn’t change his mind. He even mentioned to her that he wasn’t a fan of “platonic relationships” – apparently it felt a bit like that to him, after many years. So once she told us about it, we kept an eye on them both, and we had – under the circumstances – a decent, fun time for the rest of the night. But honestly, it was a bit awkward.

In The Train

Now I am not writing this story down to judge him, not at all. In fact, let the first person who never crossed a similar line – whether by behaviour or just by thoughts – throw the first stone. No, the reason why I brought it up, is simple: some months ago I had to think of her, this guy’s girlfriend. Of our friendship, the spontaneous peck on the lips I once stole from her on a New Year’s Eve party, the nice parties we went to, and yes, this whole event at the club with her boyfriend, while she was working abroad. And believe it or not, some days later (I was on the way to Rotterdam) I spotted her some seats away in the train, after more than 15 years. Could you imagine?

Confessions

It was crowdy, but when we stopped at Schiphol Airport, almost everybody of our compartment got out. She changed seats, in order to sit in the same direction of the train, and she got her laptop out of her bag so that she could work. The empty seats around her were looking at me, like they were inviting me. But I didn’t accept their invitation. I simply wasn’t in the mood, not for chitchat with somebody who got out of my life many years ago, nor for any type of serious talk.

I mean, what was the point? Telling her: hey, long time no see!? Bringing up the spontaneity behind that 3rd kiss, the peck on her lips, when we were wishing each other ‘Happy New Year’ once? Asking her if she was still living happily with him, her then boyfriend? Or even telling her that he, her now husband and the father of her one and only child, might have some confessions to make? Yes, maybe it was a missed opportunity, for some reason. But no. And more importantly: perhaps it just happened to show me that when you picture and feel things really vividly, the Universe can miraculously make things appear – affirming the concept of ‘The Secret’ – like an attracting and messaging system. Besides, sometimes you just need to let things go. Acknowledging them, accepting that other people’s business are merely theirs. And then burying them, hoping for the best. Buried, but liberated, under all those stones that could be thrown at people, right?